If I Die Young
by pentagram-wish
Summary: So uh yeah. PruCan because I absolutely love the pairing and I got the idea from The Band Perry's song If I Die Young. Hence the name. Essentially both Prussia and Canada are at low points in their lives and on the way to the World Meeting, their paths meet and they find they have a lot in common. Conversations follow but could there ever be anything more?
1. Chapter 1

Canada's POV:  
Why does nobody notice me? It's hard being America's little brother. The other nation's just think I'm America when they do see me. But even when they do notice me and mistake me for America, it's not always a good thing. An example being when Cuba mistook me for my brother... I'll always be invisible. I lay down on my bed and began to cry at the thought of no one knowing who I am.

When I awoke the next morning, my pillow was damp and my glasses askew. I sat up as my phone began to ring. With a quick glance I knew it would be America. He's the only one who does notice me really and even then he forgets me... I slid my finger across the screen to answer and America's voice came down the line mid-sentence.  
"-attie pick up alr-. Oh no wait nevermind you did. Hey bro."  
"Hey Al. Not to be rude, but uh, why did you call eh?"  
"Oh right yeah, I was wondering if you'd like to go to a hockey game or something... My treat. I haven't seen you in a while so..." He left the sentence there and awaited some sort of response. It had been a while since I'd left the house... And a hockey game did sound like fun. Especially if America was paying.  
"Sure. When?" I sighed.  
"Uh it's up to you. There's a game on tonight but it'll be difficult if not impossible to get tickets... Um what about Tuesday?"  
"Sure. See you in four days."  
"See you then Mattie." He ended the call and I flopped back on to my bed with a sigh. Four days until I have to face the world that doesn't even know I exist.

The game came much to quickly and I considered cancelling but it would have been too late... At about an hour before the game, America came over saying we were gonna grab a bite to eat before the match.  
"Can't we just get something while we're there?" I complained.  
"But it's not as good as MacDonald's dude."  
I sighed and gave up. I'll have to spend pointless time in the world of people who forget I exist and ignore me.

When we finally got to America's favourite eating place, aka MacDonald's, he ordered his usual and because I'm not all that hungry, I get a Happy Meal. I know it's for kids but America likes the toys so why not?

After the game America dropped me back at mine and said he'd love to stay but he can't. Once he was gone, I sighed and walked around my empty home. Looking mainly for Kumajirou. I eventually found him on my bed so I just collapsed next to him.  
"Who are you?" Came a soft voice.  
"I'm Canada." I sighed and drifted off to sleep as Kumajirou said "Who?"

Prussia's POV:  
Stupid Spain and France. Cancelling on the awesome me. I sighed and left the basement to head out to the world meeting. I may not be a nation I should still go... On my way, I saw presumably America. But he's carrying a bear... And looks unlike himself...  
"Hey America!" 'America' turned around with a slight frown.  
"I-I'm not A-America..."  
"Shit. Sorry... The awesome me didn't recognise you. So if you're not America, who are you again?"  
"I'm Canada. A-and you would be Prussia? Am I right?" I nodded.  
"So are you going to the world meeting? 'Cos if you are then we could go together if you'd like?"  
"Sure. But we're pretty much there already..."  
"Well there's enough time to talk a little. So who's the bear?"  
"Oh this is Kumajirou," he answered lifting the bear. "And um... What's with the little yellow bird on your head?"  
"Well this little awesome guy is Gilbird and he's been with me since I was little, and uh... He sometimes carries mail and stuff for me. But of course he's not as awesome as me of course." Canada laughed and we both fell silent.

After a few minutes of silence, a thought occurred to me. Why had I never seen Canada at the world meetings which I had attended?  
"Hey Canada," He turned to look up at me. "How come I've not seen you at world meetings?" He sighed before responding.  
"I am there. It's just I'm pretty much invisible so I'm not always seen. That and Russia sits on me..." Poor guy...

Canada's POV:  
Why is this guy taking notice of me? Pretty much none of the other nations do... It's nice... We talked the entire way to the world meeting summit and after the meeting he caught up with me and we talked some more... Turns out we have a quite a bit in common... We both have overshadowing brothers and most of the time we may as well be dead... I thought I was alone. I guess not. I must have been unconsciously smiling because he asked what I was smiling for.  
"Oh um... Nothing." He didn't believe me but he nodded and we continued to talk. When we had to go our separate ways to get home, he gave me his number and other contact details so we could continue to talk. I nodded and gave him mine. He probably gave me fake details but if there's a chance another nation, or even a former nation, actually wants to talk to me and not because they feel they have to, then I'll take the chance.

When I got home I added his number to my contact list and all the rest wherever it was supposed to go. Mostly the details went into my address book... I don't know how long I should wait before calling? God I sound like a teenage girl with a crush... I'll just go make some pancakes and if he happens to call while I'm making them then that's fine. I could just put him on speaker phone or something...


	2. Chapter 2

Canada's POV:  
At around six, after I'd cleaned up from making pancakes, Prussia called. I didn't really want to seem too eager by picking up straight away, but I didn't want to appear as ignorant by not answering. That would just be rude... After a few rings I picked up and Prussia's voice came through the receiver.  
"Hey Canada. You get home okay?"  
"Y-yeah. I did thanks. Did you?"  
"Yeah I did. Hey I was wondering if you wanted to do something this weekend or whenever?"  
"I'm not sure that's such a good ide-" I began but Prussia cut in before I could finish.  
"It's not like a date... It would just be a way to um... Learn more about each other..." Prussia explained with slight haste.  
"Fine," I sighed after a minute or so's thought "What're we gonna do then eh?"  
"Um... Wanna see a film or something? Wait a minute. This is gonna cost a bunch... Could you go on video chat on the computer or something?"  
"Sure. I just gotta load it up. Text you when it has?"  
"Okay." He hung up and I loaded up the laptop and sent a text to Prussia.

Within minutes of the text being sent, Prussia's face appeared on the screen with a smile upon his face. After an hour or so of talking about pretty much nothing in particular, Prussia yawned and rubbed at his eyes.  
"Tired Prussia?"  
"A little. It's pretty much midnight here... But the awesome me doesn't need sleep. Or at least not as much as everyone else..." He defended with a further yawn escaping his mouth.  
"I don't care how awesome you are, you need sleep so go. We can always talk later or something." He nodded and picked up his phone to punch a few keys before throwing it down beside him. A smirk playing across his lips. A few seconds after, a buzzing from my phone informed me I had a text message. Opening it I saw it was from Prussia and my eyebrow raised in curiosity. His smile simply grew bigger. The actual content of the text message, simply read '_Goodnight Canada. x_'  
"Uh Prussia, why didn't you just say goodnight instead of texting it?"  
"Because," he shrugged, "I wouldn't have been able to put the awesome little 'x' at the end without crashing into the screen."  
"Okay..."  
"Before I go, I was wondering if there was anything else I could call you by? You know, instead of Canada..."  
"Um... I guess you could call me by my human name. Which is Matthew..."  
"Great! If you want you can call the awesome me Gilbert or whatever. But uh night Mattie." He said with a grin.  
"'Kay. Night Gil."

Prussia's POV:  
I woke up in the morning with a sense of glee. I leant across the bed to pick up the laptop and when it was in my lap, I logged on and looked up what time it was in Canada... So since I'm about six hours ahead of Canada, then since it's roughly eleven here then it'll be about five in the morning for Canada... I think I'll leave texts and calls for a while...

When it was around five for me and around 11 for Canada, I sent him a text reading '_Hey Mattie. It's uh Gil and I just wanted to say uh, hi. :)_'. Two minutes later he replied simply with '_Hey :) Can I talk to you in like twenty or so minutes eh? I need to take a shower._'

About twenty minutes later he called and we talked again about anything. He asked me if I wanted to come over some time and try some pancakes or whatever. I agreed and the conversation turned towards planning and organising the visit.

Eventually he decided this weekend would be a good time and I was welcome to spend the night or a few if I wanted...  
"So if you'd like to then there's a spare room here if you'd like to stay for a night or two."  
"Uh... I'd have to think about it... I mean the awesome me does have to think things through every now and then. Even if I'm not a nation anymore" I muttered the last part under my breath.  
"Huh what was that last part eh?"  
"Nothing. Nothing. It was nothing. Just a little thinking aloud is all."  
"Okay. But you let me know if you're gonna stay so I can sort the room out so it won't feel so strange or whatever." Even if I can't actually see his face, I'm pretty sure he's smiling like a small child who's been told they're going on their dream holiday...  
"Will do Matt. What time am I supposed to get there for again?"  
"Whenever you're ready. Though I'd check the time difference first... You don't want to come over while it's daylight for you to find it's night here..."  
"Gotcha."

We continued talking but with video chat so the phone bill wasn't gonna be too high. Ludwig would kill me if it got too high...

Canada's POV:  
I hit my head repeatedly against the wall after the conversation had ended. Why did I invite him over so soon? But he said yes so he does want to spend time with me... But he may just be feeling sorry for me... My face rose towards the ceiling as I felt like screaming a long stream of curse words in both English and French. But instead I settle for hitting my head again while pushing the balls of my hands into my eyes. Completely forgetting about my glasses..."Fuck that was stupid..." Why am I acting like a teenage girl with her first crush. Prussia is just a friend. If that even... So then why am being so weird? Could it be that I like him after only talking to him for a few times? I need to stop before I end up getting hurt... But what if I do actually like him, how can I just stop? Is it even possible?


	3. Chapter 3

Prussia. My house. This weekend. This really cannot be happening... I still don't even understand why he'd even want to talk to someone like me. I mean the only real reason people end up talking to me is because they mistake me for my brother. And even then when they realise it's not him, they make up an excuse so they can leave... So why is Prussia talking to me? I'm just, Canada. America's little brother. I'm nothing important. And I just wish I knew what Prussia's intentions are. Then I'd know how to react and stuff. I'm kinda hoping that this attention doesn't end, but at the same time, I wish it would... Maybe then I won't feel so confused with all of this... Call me stupid or whatever you like, but I'm scared that he won't like me in that way. Hell, even being friends with him would be great. But admittedly, the thought of being in a relationship with him would be even better. I give up. I may as well face it, I have a crush on the pale skinned and silver-haired Prussia. Only he'll never find out because things are good between us. Even if it is just as friends... Friends is doable... Yeah it can't be too hard to not act like a teenager with an embarrassing crush. Can it? Is the crush even embarrassing? I just don't know. I pulled Kumajirou in close. Only to hear the usual "Who are you?"  
"I'm Canada." I sighed. I believe he may have said "Who?" at the end but it was too muffled to understand...

Why am I such an idiot? I released Kumajirou and picked up a pen and paper from the oak nightstand. This will only be given to Prussia when either the time is right, or if I somehow lose the ability of speech.

Twenty minutes later I had essentially poured my heart out onto a piece of paper. I folded it in half, or as close to a half as you can get realistically, and hid it underneath my pillow. At least while it's under there it can't bother me. Plus it#s not like either my brother or Prussia are gonna find it when they're over here... Or at least I hope they don't find it...

Prussia's POV:  
I can't wait to see Mattie in person again. Not that I'll admit to anyone else or even Mattie himself, but he's pretty awesome. Not as awesome as myself of course. But still awesome nonetheless... Would it be weird and un-awesome if I were to pack for Canada's already..? Maybe I should call him or something and see how long I'm okay to stay for...

Okay so Canada said I'm welcome to stay for as long as I like. But he was just being polite. He may or may not have also mentioned something to do with America having 'dragged' Romano over for a week... Or maybe I'm just thinking of something else... I'll just go pack for this weekend...

After an hour or so, I was packed and ready to go. And I thought the Italy brothers took forever just to decide what they're gonna wear for the day... Speaking of Italians, the younger of the pair's voice came through the ceiling. His high pitched voice piercing the atmosphere of my room in the basement.

His voice stopped abruptly for a minute or so. "Te voglio bene." He repeated. A considerably lower pitched voice, the voice of Germany, my totally un-awesome brother, cut him short. "Ich liebe dich." he simply spoke, and Italy was prevented from speaking. The temptation to call Hungary arose, but my pure awesomeness killed it. My brother was actually gonna be happy for once, why ruin it? But I don't exactly want to be stuck here while they're all lovey-dovey and stuff. I shuddered. It's awesome that Italy'll make him happy. But it doesn't mean I want to see it...

I removed my phone from my blue uniform pocket and scrolled my contacts. When I found their name, I hit dial and waited for them to pick up. After about five or so rings, they did.  
"Hey Mattie. Sorry if it's late or early where you are. I just kinda wanted to talk..."  
"It's fine Gil. I actually kind of umm..." He mumbled.  
"You kind of what?"  
"I-it doesn't matter... So what did you want to talk about?" He said hastily, changing the subject.  
"Oh. Right yeah. I was wondering if it would be possible to come over sooner? I know. Totally un-awesome to impose myself on you but..." I trailed off.  
"No, no. It's fine. When we're you thinking? I'm not really doing anything that I can't cancel."  
"Would tomorrow be okay? You can say no if it's too early for you... Italy and Germany are being rather lovey. And it's hard to be awesome while their..." I gestured wildly even thought Mattie couldn't see...  
"I-it'd be fine. Whenever your ready, just give me a sort of heads-up so I can let you know what time it is here."  
My smile grew and I nodded. Once again forgetting he couldn't see me.  
"Sure. Can't wait." I said and ended the call.

Canada's POV:  
Why did I just say yes to that? What the hell am I thinking? The house is a mess, I don't even know if there's anything interesting to do while he's here... 'Well there is one thing...' part of my brain whispered. "Shut up, shut up, shut up!" I punched my wall. Leaving a slight dent. I cursed as my hand began to sting. Looking down, the skin around my knuckles began turning a violent shade of red and began to swell. I cursed again and went down to the kitchen for the first aid kit. After rummaging one handed through the drawers for about ten minutes, I finally found the first aid kit. Recently re-stocked after America last visited and knocked over a vase. Which he then tried to pick up only to cut open his hand and cause a little bit more mess. I found the bandages and gently wrapped my hand. I decided I would probably have to wear a glove while Prussia was here. Lest he find out the stupid reason I hurt my hand...

* * *

_AN: I might have accidentally referenced towards Educating America (which is pretty awesome btw) so apologies. But it was too hard to resist..._

_But anyway, enjoy the third chapter of If I Die Young :)_


	4. Chapter 4

Canada's POV:  
When my hand had been seen to, I rushed around the house, cleaning things that didn't need to be cleaned. I know it's a little crazy, but I want the place to look perfect... Which means a hell of a lot of cleaning...

Two hours later, I walked around the house, surveying the rooms and ticking off an imaginary check list. Living room, check. Bathrooms, check. My room, check. Spare rooms, check. Kitchen, check. Everything was clean and presentable. I went into the kitchen to make like a sandwich or something. When I opened the cupboard, I cursed. How could I forget to buy food? Seriously Mattie? Prussia is coming over tomorrow and you forget to buy food? I sighed and went out the front door. Grabbing my coat, gloves and keys on the way out.

At the store, I wandered aimlessly through the aisles. Not really having a clue what Prussia likes to eat. Or even if Wal-Mart would have it? I gave up and picked up some hot dogs, some bacon, and a bunch of pancake ingredients. I picked up some other stuff and left the store promptly after paying.

Back home after restocking the cupboards and re-checking every room in the house, I sighed. I hate being bored... I actually kinda wish Prussia was here already...

Prussia's POV:  
Going upstairs out of Ludwig's basement, only to find a slightly blushing and beaming Germany. But no sign of Italy...  
"Did Feli leave?"  
He nodded. "He left not too long ago." His unawesome smile growing bigger. Sure it was awesome that he was happy, but did he have to be so freaking cheery? Wait, why am I getting pissed at him for being happy? What the hell is wrong with me. He's my little brother. Maybe I'm just jealous of what he has now. While I have nothing... Well that's a lie. I have Canada. But we're just friends. And I mean just friends. Sure he's awesome and all, but I'm not exactly sure if I can see my extremely awesome self with him... Man, I feel unawesome for having said that. It wasn't even out loud, but still, unawesome.

West turned his attention to the TV. I left the house and went for a walk in a nearby park. Losing track of time and how far I'd walked. It wasn't until my phone began to ring did I realise how long I'd been out of the house for. Checking the ID, I saw it was Canada calling. I picked up with little hesitation.  
"Hey Mattie."  
"Hey Gil. I was wondering what time you were gonna be over here tomorrow... Just so I can make something for you when you get here..."  
"That'd be awesome. So what're you gonna be making?"  
"Most likely pancakes. But I still need an answer for what time you're gonna be here..."  
"Oh right, well what time should it be for you when I get there?"  
"Uh would around 12 be okay eh?"  
"Yeah sure. I'll see you then Mattie."

Canada's POV:  
Breathe Mattie. Just. Breathe. There's no reason to panic or anything. He's just coming over. As a friend. Even if he is a friend that you have a slight crush on... I collapsed onto the couch with a loud sigh. What am I doing to myself? I turned on the tv and Hercules was playing. I sat and watched about half of the film before dozing off.

When I awoke, the dream was fresh in my mind and the credits were rolling. The dream was so vivid... It was like I was Meg, and Prussia was Hercules... And then that song 'I Won't Say I'm In Love' was being played and papa France was there, America was there, Britain was there and I think Cuba was too... But he and America were at either ends if the line at all times... That was such a weird dream. But one thing was good about it... Prussia was there. And he and I kissed a little. I've gotta say though, that was, as Prussia would say, and awesome dream...

I shook my head and went into the kitchen to start making dinner. What it would be, I hadn't a clue... After dinner I called papa France. He'd know what to do with boy trouble... Though he'd just give me advice about sexual things... I shook my head. I need his advice and if he goes off track, then I'll try turn the subject back.

"Hey papa France?"  
"Oh mon dieu! Canada? It's been so long since we last spoke has it not?"  
"Oui. Désolé but I am in need of your help..."  
"Oui oui. Anything at all petit."  
"Well, I have this sort of crush on someone and I was wondering if you could give some advice eh?"  
"Of course! But first, who is this lucky person you have a crush on?"  
"I-it's Prussia..."  
"Vraiment? The one who is always shouting 'I'm awesome?'"  
"Oui..." I sighed.  
France chuckled. "He reminds me of your brother then in that sense. But I will help you."  
"Merci merci merci beaucoup!"  
"Calm down mon petit. What exactly do you need help with?"  
"I-I need to know how either let him know I love him. Without sexual favours papa... And without ruining the friendship we have."  
"I understand. And I wasn't going to say anything of sexual favours."  
"Are you ill papa?"  
"Un peu... I let Arthur cook... A poor lapse in judgement but I'll be fine..."  
"So what can I do?"  
"It is simple. You can either tell him straight away, or keep going the way you are and hope he notices... "  
"Thanks papa."  
"Bonne chance..."

So if France's advice is just to do what I'm already doing, I could easily end up with a broken heart by the end of Prussia's visit... What was I thinking? I wasn't clearly. Now I have to try not suddenly burst out with "I love you" or "Je t'aime" because he knows France so I'm pretty sure he'll know what it means... What have I done to myself...?


	5. Chapter 5

Prussia's POV:  
The day I was to leave to stay with Canada, I was for some reason, nervous. And that is not awesome... Why am I even nervous? I don't feel that way for Mattie... I pressed the balls of my hands into my eyes so when I opened them again there was a flurry of stars before my eyes... I checked the time and saw I had about two hours before I was to leave. Great so that's a further two hours to kill...

I debated whether or not grabbing something to eat would be a good idea... But decided against it as Mattie said he'd cook something when I got there. Instead I headed over to visit France. He's awesome to hang around with plus he'll help the time go by faster... Thirty minutes later and I'd arrived at France's modernly styled home.

With its dazzling white walls and large windows complete with a balcony, it was what you'd expect from the flamboyant Frenchman. Unlike other nations, France didn't have a doorbell, so it was either the slightly distasteful knocker, or call him... But being the awesome me, I banged the knocker three times and waited for France to answer the exquisite door. When he did, he was dressed in his usual blue cape and coat, with red slightly puffy red trousers tucked in to his finest brown boots.

"Mon dieu! Prussia! It's so good to see you. To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"  
"Well the awesome me hasn't seen you in a while so I thought it would be a good idea to catch up a little before I go to Canada's for a bit..." France nodded with an odd sense of knowing...  
"Well, let's not stay in the doorway. You are coming in non?"  
"The awesome me wouldn't think of saying no to your infamous hospitality."  
He nodded and I followed France through his eccentric yet tasteful home.

Canada's POV:  
Oh god oh god oh god. Prussia. Here. In an hour and a half... I have to sort the living room, kitchen, bathrooms, spare rooms and the ensuites... So much to do but with so little time...

After madly dashing around the house for half an hour, I finally finished making the house perfect apart from my room. But it's not like he'll be going in there... But what if he does... I cursed and went to sort out my room. A further 20 minutes later and it was done. I could do with a shower but I just cleaned the bathroom... But I have yet to do the one in my room...

Another twenty minutes or so and I was sat in the living room waiting for Prussia to call and say he was on his way over. I checked my watch. 12:10. Was he not coming? Did something happen? He would've called if he was unable to get here wouldn't he? Surely he's just running a little late. It'll be fine. Calm down. He's fine. You're fine. Everyone's fine. Well except papa France but he chose to date Britain even with his terrible cooking...

A further fifteen minutes and I dialled his number. He didn't answer. I tried again and this time he picked up. His voice laden with presumably surprise...  
"Hey Canada..."  
"Hi Gil. So when are you going to get here?"  
"Like you asked. 12." He said. A hint of confusion hiding within his words.  
"But it's nearly one..."  
"What?! But the awesome me could have sworn I had an hour or so to kill before coming over... I'm sorry Canada... I'll be on my way if the invitation is still open..." He flustered  
"Of course it's still open. Just, get here soon. 'Kay?" I sighed.  
"Got it. I'm really sorry Canada. I'll try make it up to you." He ended remorsefully before hanging up.

Another hour later and he was standing on my doorstep. "Canada I am so so so sorry and you are so awesome for not cancelling." I nodded and stood aside as he walked in and my heart pounded in my ears. I can't think straight anymore... Breathe Mattie just breathe. Calm down. You're not helping yourself by getting worked up over this... Prussia slowly walked into the vast hallway.  
"So I guess sorting a room for you to stay in would be the better idea then eh?"  
"That'd be awesome. Not as awesome as myself of course..."  
"Whatever. You can choose your room so you can put your stuff away before the tour." Prussia nodded and followed me upstairs and towards one of the guest rooms. I opened the door to a clean room with black sheets, white walls and black furnishings. I figured Prussia might like to use this room. And I was right. He walked in and sat on the bed, looking around with his suitcase at his feet.  
"Cool room. Did you decorate this?" I nodded. He seemed impressed.  
"Oh by the way, my room is just next door. So if you need anything just let me know." He nodded.

Prussia's POV:  
After I'd put my suitcase on the end of the bed and had had a quick look around the room, Canada gave me a tour of his large and slightly empty home... It wasn't empty as in lack of furniture, it was empty like nobody lived here... A shiver ran down my spine and Mattie looked at me, concern etched into his features.  
"Is everything okay? I could turn the heating up if you'd like eh?" I shook my head. Everything was fine. I just unawesomely gave myself the creeps. But I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?

Canada showed me everything from the living room, to the kitchen and dining room, to the back garden or 'yard' as he'd called it... His whole house was incredible... With each room decorated differently from the rest, yet still suiting the house. He definitely got that from France... My stomach growled. Interrupting my train of thought. Totally unawesome stomach. Canada chuckled and went back to the kitchen. He started pulling open cupboards and taking from them various ingredients. He poured and sprinkled them into a bowl before skilfully pouring them into a pan where they sizzled. While a delectable aroma spread itself out in the room. Invading my nose and maybe even causing me to drool a little...

"Hey Mattie. What're you making?"  
"Pancakes. I said I'd make you some when you got here didn't I?"  
"Oh yeah... I guess I forgot. Sorry..."  
"It's okay. They're almost ready so could you grab some plates from the cupboard above the sink?" I nodded and went to the indicated cupboard.  
"Just two or...?"  
"Better make it three. I think Kumajirou will want some..."  
"Wait... Who's Kumajirou?"  
"A little polar bear that for some reason never remembers who I am... But then again no one really does..."

* * *

_AN: Prussia you should really learn to keep track of time. Poor little Canada was so worried.  
But uh anyway, chapter six will be on its way. :)_


	6. Chapter 6

Prussia's POV:  
"What was the last part? The awesome me didn't quite catch it..."  
Mattie shook his head. "I-it was nothing... The pancakes are nearly done." He said, changing the subject. What was bothering him? It's not awesome that he's upset. I can see from here the slight glisten of tears in his eyes. He scrubbed at his eyes with the back of the sleeve of his red hoodie. Evidently trying to make it seem like he hadn't been about to cry... Does he think I'll think less of him if he cries? That's just unawesome on a new level...

After the pancakes were finished, Canada called Kumajirou for the slightly cold pancakes. In answer to his shouts, a small polar bear trotted into the kitchen. I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped because Canada chuckled at my reaction. I shouldn't really be surprised that Canada has a polar bear, because America has a whale, and Britain sees flying rabbits and unicorns or something... But just as I'd gotten over the slight surprise, the small thing talked... Surely I must be imagining things? But Kumajirou said it alright. He said "Who are you?" to Canada, and what was once a smile, turned into a disheartened frown. "I'm Canada..." He sighed and Kumajirou asked "Who?" but Canada sighed again and handed him a plate of pancakes. Kumajirou promptly left the room with what appeared to be a rather large grin on his face...

"He doesn't know who you are?"  
"Not really... He just kinda forgets... All the time..." I could tell he didn't want to press the subject any further... "Well... These pancakes are incredible. How do you make them taste so good? Feli cooks some and they don't taste this good..."  
Canada blushed at the compliment. "Well, I could give you the recipe so you can make them yourself if you'd like." I nodded furiously and he went to write the recipe down.

After, Canada helped me unpack and organize the room after I'd practically thrown everything out of my suitcase out onto the floor... Which was pretty unawesome of me... Why am I being so unawesome as of late..? It's not right... I seriously hope I can fix this...

Canada's POV:  
I nearly slipped up. I was so close to suddenly telling Prussia I loved him... And the way his silver hair just fell into his face while I was helping him unpack, I had to fight every urge to kiss him, and to brush the hair from his beautiful face. I seriously need some help...

While Prussia was watching TV, I went upstairs to my room and quickly dialled France's number... He quickly picked up and a slight tone of panic was evident in his voice.  
"Canada, is everything okay?"  
"Yes yes papa. It's just, it's a little harder than I thought... To be just friends with Prussia."  
"Mon un peu pauvre... It'll be okay non? Just hang in there, and if you need advice, do not hesitate to call."  
"Okay papa. But I was wondering, how can I not end up saying 'Je t'aime' to him?"  
"Désolé, but I am not so sure it is an easy thing to do..."  
"Ah... Well merci anyway..."  
"Au revoir Canada."  
"Au revoir." I sighed.

How am I going to do this? I didn't invite him here to get my head messed up... Or to end up with a broken heart. I invited him here because I finally had a friend... And not one out of pity. A friend who actually seems to care and isn't a friend of mine by default of America. But as cliché as it is, I don't particularly want to ruin this. He's my only friend really... As depressing as that sounds...

Prussia's POV:  
Canada likes me? All I did was go into my room to stick my phone on charge and I end up hearing Canada talking to France, asking for his advice... Which makes sense seeing as France is seen as the nation who knows all there is to know about love. Perhaps even a little too much some might say. But I know what 'Je t'aime' means, and I'm not entirely sure how to feel about that.

Should I feel flattered that he likes me? But who wouldn't like the awesome me after all? Should I feel love towards him? Should I even feel anything at all? I shouldn't even know about this anyway. It was Canada's private phone call or else he would have used the phone in the hall... Wouldn't he? I think he would have... But he sounded unsure as to what to do. And even France didn't know. And yet he's quite possibly the most forward of the nations when it comes to relationships... So does this mean that I'm... Different?

I'm different with looks. But then again everyone is... I'm different in the sense that I'm not a nation... Man that stings... Don't be unawesome Prussia. Just because you're not a nation doesn't mean that you're not awesome. If anything it makes to twice as awesome. Who am I kidding? If I'm not a nation then it's no wonder people think I'm dead. Maybe I would be better off dead... It's not like I exist on a map anymore so I wouldn't really be missed. Canada could get over me. West would while Feli is with him... Spain and France will still do stupid things without me. If not stupider...

Would I really be missed?

A door quickly closing pulled me out of my pit of self loathing and slightly depressive state. Canada stood in the doorway. A slight blush on his cheeks. He pushed up his glasses. Still not saying a word. In his hand was a yellowish piece of paper... It was slightly crumpled and had tape in various places as though it had been ripped up and then put back together. Canada caught me looking at the folded paper and he quickly hid it behind his back, blushing more as he did so.

He promptly left the room. Neither of us having said a word. I don't know what to do anymore. I sighed deeply and flopped backwards onto the bed, arms spread out like a bird of prey in flight. Like the bird on the flag of my once proud nation... Now I'm nothing...

* * *

_AN: Aww Prussia it'll be okay. And Canada would not be able to get over you..._

Not really much to say other than I'm pleased with the speed which I'm writing this *dance party*


	7. Chapter 7

Canada's POV:  
So close to telling him last night. What was I thinking? But when I'd been stood at his door, he looked almost close to tears... What was making him so upset? I shook my head and focused on the task of making pancakes for breakfast and a fresh pot of coffee.

I heard footsteps coming down the stairs as I was putting the pancakes onto a plate in the centre of the table, maple syrup placed nearby. I turned back to the stove and continued making pancakes. I just want to pretend like last night didn't happen. I can't say really that it was any fun for either of us... He shuffled into the kitchen and sat at the table. I put the coffe jug on the table with a white ceramic mug printed to look like his flag. He smiled slightly and poured himself a cup and took a sip. More awake, he attempted to make conversation but decided it could wait until I was seated.

I pulled down from the cupboards two more plates and my coffee mug with my own flag printed onto it, and sat at the table. "Help yourself." I murmured, keeping my head bowed. When our plates were full, he waited before starting the conversation. Which, I wasn't exactly looking forward to... No doubt he'd heard me talking to France last night so he'll have heard me saying that I liked him... I've dug myself this deep so I may as well keep digging and hope for the best...

Prussia's POV:  
I could tell Canada wasn't that comfortable this morning but it's troubling me. And I highly doubt France is gonna rat out his kid. Is Canada France's kid? I'll ask France next time I see him... But I couldn't sleep last night. Whether it was because of the conversation I'd overheard or because it's a new place, I don't know but I just couldn't sleep. Plus the silence is killing me...

"Nice coffee... Different to the stuff back home." Bad conversation starter. Totally unawesome..  
"Th-thanks. It's got a little maple syrup in to enhance the flavour... How're the panckaes eh?"  
"Incredible. Even better than last night I think..." Where even is this conversation going..? Not in an awesome direction that's for sure.  
"Thanks... So what do you want to do today?"  
"Uh... I don't know much about you so, you wanna watch a movie or something?" I suggested.  
"Sure. I think I have some you might like by the tv so when we're done you can have a look and pick one." He said with a smile. He seems to have cheered up a little, or even, relaxed a bit. I nodded and we ate the remainder of our breakfast in a more, cheery mood. Instead of an awkward silence, there was a friendlier atmosphere and we chatted inbetween mouthfuls.

I helped Canada clean up before going into the front room to look at his DVDs, which there was a lot of might I add... I gave up trying to choose. There were just too many films so eventually Canada chose a film. That was after he'd laughed so hard his side ended up hurting. Or so I'm told... When he'd recovered from his laughing fit and had managed to choose a film, we sat on the plush black couch and watched the film. Not saying a thing. Just silently watching the film. Even if I don't feel that way for Canada, it's nice just to be with him, and to be in his company without saying anything. It was awesome. Not as awesome as me of course, but still awesome...

When the film finished, I looked over to see a softly sleeping Canada curled up. I smirked as I went to make coffee, but he was lying on my legs... I need coffee but I don't want to wake him. He looked overly tired this morning... He needs the sleep. I sighed and reached across for the remote, trying not to wake Canada. With the remote in hand I pressed the red power button and the tv went off. Only, as I went to put it back, it slipped from my hand and hit Canada in the head... Not awesome. Not awesome at all.

He snapped his eyes open and sat up sharply and rubbed the top if his head where the remote had fallen. "I am so so so so so sorry Canada." He just shook his head and forged a smile. "I-it's fine Gil... I needed to wake up anyway... Don't worry about it." He's not a very good liar... I gently pulled him into a hug. He tensed up initially, but soon relaxed. After last night, I'm probably not helping. But what else can the awesome me do?

He gently pushed me away and sighed. He opened and closed his mouth a few times. His words failing him each time he tried. After two minutes of a slightly tense silence, he sighed again and looked down... As if that was the only way he could proceed with what he wanted to say.

Canada's POV:  
"P-Prussia... I-I need to tell you something..." I looked up briefly to see him nod, signalling me to continue.  
"Well... Since you probably h-heard the conversation between France and myself last night, you'll probably already know what I'm going to say. B-but I need to say this myself." With a great deal of effort, I looked up at Prussia, trying to avoid looking into his eyes...  
"Je t'aime. But that isn't the reason I invited you to stay. Just to clear that up. I invited you as a friend. Before I realised I liked you like that." I couldn't look at him anymore. The sheer panic of his reaction leaving me on the verge of running from the room.

One minute passed. Then two. No reply had followed. I glanced up at Prussia and he seemed on the edge of tears. "H-hey. What's wrong eh?"  
He just shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut tight. I reached out and arm to comfort him and his head came down to reside on my shoulder. I hugged him tightly, not knowing if he's upset because of me, or because of something else... Either way, I can't stand him being sad.

* * *

_AN: Aww poor Prussia, don't cry. It'll be okay... But what he was crying for shall be revealed in the next chapter..._

Enjoy :D


	8. Chapter 8

Canada's POV:  
Prussia eventually fell asleep from the exhaustion of crying. But just because he'd fallen asleep, it didn't mean that his sleep wasn't a peaceful one. He tensed up every so often and murmured somewhat indistinguishable things. But from the few I could understand, he seemed to be arguing and fighting with his mind, and was losing. I carefully slipped my phone from my pocket and dialled an all too familiar number. He picked up relatively quickly.

"Canada, is everything okay? You'd called earlier and I got worried..."  
"Oui I'm fine. But I did it. I-I told him..." I whispered so as not to wake Prussia.  
"And what happened? Did you kiss? Did he slap you? I've had that happen a few times..."  
"Nothing happened. Literally nothing. Well, he cried. Now he's asleep."  
"Hmm... That's something that has not happened to moi..."  
"What do I do? I'm scared. I finally have a friend, and as cliché as it sounds, I don't want to lose him..."  
"Awww mon petit, it'll be okay non? You have the expert for a father remember? So any advice I can give, I shall..."  
"Merci. Merci beaucoup." I hung up and looked at the sleeping former nation in my arms. A small tear rolled down his cheek. "Prussia. Are you awake?" I whispered, gently nudging him. He nodded and sat up, wiping at his eyes and looking down.

I went into the kitchen and made some hot chocolate with whipped cream and grated chocolate on top. He took his mug and drank nearly half the cup in one go. Either he really loves hot chocolate or he's a little shaken up and upset. About what, still not sure. I don't want to press the matter in case it makes him cry again. I can't say I want this visit to be a disaster...

Prussia's POV:  
Stop being so unawesome. Is it really worth it to cry over the fact that someone actually cares about me? I took another long drink of the hot chocolate Mattie had brought me. He simply looked at his and I sighed.  
"C-Canada. You won't lose me as a friend... I-I promise." I cursed myself for stuttering. I'm too awesome for that...  
He nodded and I placed my hand on his shoulder while he put his mug next to mine on the glass coffee table. He sighed and stood up, leaving the living room and grabbing his coat. He left the house somewhat red-faced, and flustered. I ran after him, but he'd already driven off.

I went back into the house and went upstairs to my room. Where I punched the wall repeatedly in frustration. When I was done, there were a few dents in the wall, as well as some blood spots. I looked down at my hands and saw the slightly swollen and bloody mess that was my knuckles. Biting my lip, I prodded my right hand and choked back a pained cry. Hopefully they're not broken. After searching in the drawers under the sink in the ensuite, I found the first aid box and tended to my hands. Which is not an easy job when the pair of them are bloody and swollen...

Going back into my room, my phone was lit up. Either to tell me I had a text, or that I'd missed a call. Either way, I opened the phone to see what was bugging it. I had a missed call from... Canada? Why was he calling? I quickly dialled his number and paced around the room with worry. Finally the phone was picked up. "Mattie?!" I exclaimed. Reassurance washing over me. But the voice that answered wasn't his...  
"I'm assuming that's the name of this phone's owner? But, he's had an accident and I've called an ambulance. He's being taken to High River General Hospital."  
"O-okay. But please, h-how bad is he?"  
The unknown man sighed down the phone before answering. "I don't think you want to know... I'm giving the phone back to it's owner. Whom I shall assume is calle Mattie?"  
"Y-yes... Thank you..."  
"No problem." He ended the call and I rushed to put on a pair of boots and grabbed my jacket on the way out. But I realised two things. One, I don't have a car. Two, even if I did, I don't know the way to the hospital. After frantically searching through the phone book, I found the number of a taxi company.

Five minutes of pacing later, the taxi arrived and I hurriedly told the address. Millions of different ideas ran through my head, each one worse than the last. For all I know, in the time it takes me to get there, he could no longer be a nation and he could die. No. That would be too unawesome. It's not awesome to think like that. Mattie will be fine. He was there for you, now it's your turn to be there for him.

When I arrived at the hospital, my mind was fighting against itself with the possibility of him having died, just hanging on and could still die, or that he would be fine. I was hoping the latter would win... I called America from the hospital and when he got there, since he was related to Mattie, he was allowed to see him when he'd been patched up. I just sat outside his room, my head in my hands, staring at the floor.

America poked his head out of the room and after a quick glance up and down the hall, he dragged me inside the room. "He asked to see you dude... Fuck things up and you'll have the hero coming down on your ass..." He threatened. I nodded and he went across the room to keep an eye out for any nurses. Canada sat up but winced as he did so.

Canada's POV:  
My body's bruised and broken. But not as bad as my heart. Wow. Overdramatic much? It was a bad idea to try sit up. Because it just irritated the stitches... I don't really remember much. I remember, leaving the house and driving down the street to calm my head. I'd stopped at a light and some asshole comes round the corner on the wrong side and collides with my car. I must have passed out because the next thing I remember is a fuzzy image of the ambulance lights, then darkness again. Now I'm here and Al just snuck Prussia in while giving him an all too real threat...

* * *

_AN: Sorry for making you end up in hospital Canada. The story needed a sort of, climax. If that's even the word to use...  
Anyway, chapter 9 to be written soon. I'll try and make it more uplifting but no guarantees._


	9. Chapter 9

Canada's POV:  
Prussia sheepishly walked over towards my bed and my stitches throbbed. He knelt at my bedside, a frown playing across his pale features...  
"Hey..." I croaked. My eyes beginning to burn.  
"H-hey... I am so sorry. It was not awesome of me to have said that..."  
"P-Prussia, it's okay. I'll be fine." I coughed, not helping the situation but I can't help it. Prussia frowned and gently picked up my hand.  
"What I said to you earlier, I mean it. I will never, leave you behind." A small tear ran down his face.  
"I know. But if anyone should be crying, it should be me... I mean come on..." Prussia let out a weak laugh and held my hand tightly in his. My heart rate betrayed me and quickened. And with the joys of being hooked to a heart monitor thing, he noticed... But didn't let go.

He instead looked up at me, a small smirk playing across his features. He then turned his head towards Alfred and said "Hey Al, don't look." and he kissed me. Unfortunately Alfred had turned to face Prussia while he was talking... Alfred just stood there, his mouth hanging open. "Oh for crying out loud dude! You're in a hospital!" He slammed his hand to his forehead before promptly turning around.

Prussia lifted his hand to cup my chin, only he caught one of my stitches and I cried out in pain. Alfred in his usual brotherly way, came over and pulled Prussia away to no doubt, beat him up. Al's a good brother but he does take it a little too far. It's one thing me being in the hospital, but for Prussia to end up in here too, that won't go down well... Plus, I'm a nation so I'll be fine and there won't really be long-term effects. But with Prussia... I'd rather not think about it...

Prussia's POV:  
Alfred had pulled me off to the side and after allowing me to explain, he sighed and started giving me advice... How fun...  
"...But just be sure to take care of him, okay? He's my little brother, so you fuck with his heart..." He left the threat there and went back to Canada. He said that he had to leave or he'd miss a meeting. When he'd left, Canada sheepishly looked down at his hands in his lap.  
"Hey, why so shy?"  
"B-because I get this feeling, that it's all just a dream. And that when I wake up, you won't have even met me..."  
"Let the awesome me assure you Canada, as far as I know, it's not a dream."  
"I-I hope it isn't. But if it is, this is my favourite dream. Apart from being in a car crash..." I chuckled and Canada smiled.  
"Look see. You're smiling." He blushed and attempted to hide under the covers, but his arm was restricted while in a cast.

I resettled him in his bed and gently leant down to kiss him. He smiled into the kiss before resting his head back onto his pillow. I sat in the chair nearby and we talked until he fell asleep. I however refused to sleep. Not while there was a chance that he would need the awesome me.

But sleep was harder to fend off than I had initially thought... When I woke up again, Canada was still asleep and sunlight filtered in through the window nearby. The light filled the room and highlighted a small, yellow envelope on the table next to the bed. Curiosity got the better of me and I, as quietly as possible, collected it before sitting back down in the somehow comfortable chair. I flipped the envelope over and saw my name. Both my nation and human name were written in a similar handwriting to America's.

I opened the envelope and after a quick look at Canada to see he was still sleeping, I removed a letter, covered in tape. It looked familiar somehow... Something clicked into place in my mind and I realised it was the one Canada had been holding, the night before the accident...

Canada's POV:  
When I woke up, everything felt like it was a dream. My injuries didn't hurt as much as yesterday. But I knew they were there. I knew I was still in the hospital. The constant beeping of the heart monitor told me that. Yet, I felt like I was on a cloud. My first thought was, am I dead? But the weight of my nation soon helped me to remember that I can't die. At least not as long as I'm recognised as being a nation. Unlike Prussia... He'll disappear one day. Then I'll be left alone again. No one seeing me and when they do, mistaking me for being America...

A muffled sob came from the chair by my bed and I slowly opened my eyes. If Prussia was trying to quieten his crying, then he didn't want to wake me. I snuck a glance towards him. In his hands was the letter that I had written to him. On the floor at his feet, was the envelope, slightly torn and what appeared to be a small blotch of blood. When I'd gone to make the hot chocolate, I'd grabbed the note, but before I could give it to him I'd stormed out of the house in frustration.

And when I'd got into my car, I'd thrown it onto the passenger seat. When I'd stopped at a light, I'd picked it up, all anger ebbing away. Then when I was hit, it hadn't been damaged and had stayed clutched in my hand, even when I was passed out. The only damage to it was that which I had done, and that was only to the letter itself.

The paper in Prussia's hands crumpled slightly as he finished the last paragraph. "I will never leave you Mattie. I swear by it." He whispered, his voice hoarse and cracked from crying. "How can I guarantee it though eh?" I questioned, sitting up and ignoring the pain from the stitches.  
"H-how long have you-?" He trailed off, shock playing with his mind.  
"P-please, just answer the question."  
Prussia nodded. "I. Will never leave you. Until the very day that I fade away, I will never, leave you unless absolutely necessary."  
"I-I thought you wouldn't fade away unless you were completely forgotten..."  
He shrugged. "Who knows. But it'll happen eventually. But before that happens, I want to be with you. Watch comedies and action with you. Just spend whatever time I can with you."  
"I-I... I'd love that." I beamed.  
"You're awesome, you know that? Infact, I'd say that you're about the same level of awesome as me." He smirked.

* * *

_AN: Sorry it's so late. But I do believe that this series has sadly come to an end... Anyway, thank you to those who have read, followed and favourited this story. It means a lot and there shall be other fics to come :)  
_~_pentagram-wish xo_


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